Dear Boyfriend,
I am sorry for scaring you this morning. I know it must have looked bad. You have every right to be creeped out. If I was in your shoes, I would be too. It’s just that I couldn’t sleep. I decided to watch TV on the couch, in my underwear, as to not bother you. After I got tired of the Real Housewives of New Jersey, I got back into bed … and stared at you. Which is what I was doing when you opened your eyes. I’m sorry.
I just want you to know that I am not a troll. I am not trying to steal your breath. I am not a serial killer sizing up whether or not I can make a mask out of your face. I am not a professional stalker that lurks in bushes while you’re at work. I do not stare at you often. You fascinate me, but not that much.
Just know that I am human. I make mistakes. But I couldn’t help myself. You are so handsome. I was just thinking how could a girl like me be lying next to such a miracle of a man? Your soft lips, strong arms, smooth skin…. For that moment, your breath was like a cool ocean breeze, whispering in my ear. There are only a few moments in life where you are blessed with absolute clarity. You can clearly see what is valuable in life. You try to reach out and grab it but it’s just a fistful of sunshine. All you can do is stare and quietly thank God, Buddha, or Jay-Z that you get to at least experience it’s light.
You were my personal sunrise this morning. Thanks for the tan.
That said, I vow to never stare at you again. Next time, I will watch the entire marathon of Real Housewives until you wake up.
Love,
Your not so creepy girlfriend
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