Can you hear me now?

There are surprises in life that are pleasant, some that are not so pleasant, and some that are just severely bittersweet.

I had spent the afternoon at the mall with one of my girlfriends. While casually strolling along, a very tall and very handsome man walked up to me and handed me a note. He smiled. I was confused. He walked away.

At that very moment, my confusion turned to fear. I was terrified that he was a suicide bomber on a mission. The note was a warning that he was going to blow up the mall all because he was promised 50 virgins in heaven. I contemplated throwing the note away and running as fast as possible back to my car, but curiosity got the best of me.

I opened the note.

Hi, I think you have a beautiful smile. I gave you a note because I'm deaf. I hope that you're open enough to look past this. I hope that you'll call. -Dumbo

I do not refer to him as Dumbo because he flew around the mall flapping his large ears, but because after reading his note, all I could think about was his broken ears. The thought of dating a man with a disability reminded me of the time my friend introduced me to her new boyfriend... the new boyfriend with a small arm. He had one normal arm and one arm that belonged on a 5 year olds body. He once patted me on the back with it and I almost died. I'm not sure why, but it really creeped me out. Just being honest, don't judge me.

I started to envision our first phone call. Obviously we'd have to use one of those TTY assistance lines. The only other time I'd used that service was when a deaf man tried to buy accounting software from me at work. Let's just say, it wasn't a very easy process. I imagined the conversation going a little something like this:

Me: Hi Dumbo, my name's Michelle. You gave me that little note the other day at the mall. STOP.
Dumbo Typing.
Operator reading what Dumbo wrote: Hi Michelle. I'm so glad you called! Will you marry me?? GO.

How would I ever introduce Dumbo to my family? Would we all have to learn sign language? Would I need to bring a whiteboard with me so that we could communicate? Clearly, these are the thoughts of an extremely naive and selfish person. I started to feel really guilty for being so insincere.

But really, what would our wedding day be like?

Pastor: Do you, Dumbo, take Michelle to be your super awesome wife?
Dumbo Typing: I do. GO.
Pastor: Do you, Michelle, take Dumbo, to be your super hot but totally deaf husband?
Me: I do. STOP.

After talking it over with the friend I was with, I was torn. Do I call my sweet Dumbo and get to know him? Do I pretend this never happened to me? By ignoring him, will I be given a one way ticket straight to hell? This was all just way too confusing!!

It's been a few months since the day Dumbo walked up to me at the mall and handed me that note. What did I end up doing, you ask?

I wrote a blog about it.

Lesson Learned:

When life gives you deaf lemons, make really bittersweet lemonade....in a blog.