Double Double on the Double!

Animal was one of those guys who looked really intimidating but was actually just a big cuddly teddy bear. Or so I thought. He worked at a local radio station, was super charming, and while I wasn't necessarily attracted to him, I thought that by giving him the chance to woo me, that part would fall into place later.

On our first date, we mini golfed! He spent hours trying to beat me but my mini golfing skills are pretty amazing so it wasn't easy for the poor Animal. While golfing, Animal kept asking me questions. It was like an impromptu interview. He wanted to know the type of men I typically date, what qualities I found most attractive, where I saw myself in 10 years, the list goes on and on. I did a pretty good job of answering. I tried not to divulge too much information, keeping him curious enough to want to learn more. Good thing I read all those dating books or I would have divulged it all on the first date.

After our golf date, Animal was to take me home. On our way, he took a detour to the In & Out near my house and wanted to grab some food. The conversation had turned a tad bit steamy and instead of asking me about my goals and aspirations, he began to ask me about the things I like... when in the dark... with another person.

I can hang with the best of them. I can talk about just about anything with anyone. But the way Animal was asking me these questions, was downright creepy. I answered in hopes that I'd be home in just a few minutes. Once in the drive-thru line, Animal asked me if I had any fantasies. I said that I wasn't the type that fantasizes. Then I began to pray that the date would end, immediately.

He began to go into detail about his fantasy. His fantasy included going to In & Out, ordering a double-double, taking it home, then making sweet sweet love, while standing behind a lady friend, and using her back as a tray for his delicious burger.

I started to pray harder than I ever had in my life. "Dear God, I'm sorry for everything I've ever done. Please dont let this man use my back as a tray!" I was afraid that he thought his fantasy was turning into a reality. Technically, we were halfway through his fantasy. We were in the In & Out drive thru, he just ordered a double-double, so all that was left was the kinky food lovin part.

I decided that I had to run away. I got out of the car while he was busy paying and ran straight into the bathroom. Who do I call now? How will I get myself out of here?

Good thing my dad was still awake.

Lesson Learned:

Be weary of men who like cheeseburgers more than you . You might end up with secret sauce in places where the sun don't shine.